GOD:
Next, please.

MAN:
Yes, hello again.

GOD:
I'm sorry, my memory fails me. Which one are you?

MAN:
Well, I was Martin Fry.

GOD:
I'm sorry, those records are terminated. What's your number?

MAN:
Eleven thirty-one.

GOD:
No, no, not your queue number. Your executive number, the eight-digits.

MAN:
You expect me to remember that?

GOD:
Well, it is within the seven plus-minus two limit, which you should achieve if you've reached up to level one. Or, are you the reincarnation?

MAN:
Yeah, that's right. That's what I wanted to discuss with you.

GOD:
Did you miss your stop?

MAN:
No.

GOD:
I only sent you off a few hours ago.

MAN:
Yes, my point exactly. What's the deal with turning me into a sea turtle?

GOD:
You said you liked swimming, and that you'd like a long life.

MAN:
Yeah, but their life expectancy from hatching is only about four seconds, innit? I was eaten by a gull after two. You do realise that the odds of me becoming an old sea turtle are about one in a million?

GOD:
What can I do, try again.

MAN:
I've been at it thirteen times already; it's beginning to resemble a very frustrating video game!

GOD:
What can I do?

MAN:
You're God..! What can't you do? You invented gulls, didn't you?

GOD:
Actually, that was my day off.

MAN:
I don't believe this...

GOD:
Would you like to be something else? How about sloth?

MAN:
No thank you.

GOD:
They're swimmers. I didn't mean for that to happen, but there you are.

MAN:
Tempting, but no thanks.

GOD:
African elephant?

MAN:
No.

GOD:
I can offer you, um, tiger?

MAN:
No! How come you keep giving me endangered animals?

GOD:
To teach you a lesson!

MAN:
About what?

GOD:
About life, and death, and how cruel they both can be because of people like the former you, who take as their profession to cause others to suffer!

MAN:
I was an insurance salesman..! Anyway, why don't you offer me panda?

GOD:
I don't like pandas.

MAN:
How can you not like pandas? Pandas are the fluffy bits of hope in this world!

GOD:
Why do you think they're dying out?

MAN:
But you just said--

GOD:
Enough about the bloody pandas already! I'm on a boycott, orright? Simple as that. You can't be a panda, pick something else.

MAN:
Well I don't know.

GOD:
Would you like to see the catalogue?

MAN:
The catalogue of endangered animals that you like?

GOD:
Yeah. Here, have a look.

MAN:
"Life through a straw: Anteater. Short sight, bushy tail and a pair of claws. Live your South American dream." No, that's not really for me... "Sturgeon", "Chiru", "Rhinoceros"... It's not really alphabetical, this, is it?

GOD:
It's in order of preference.

MAN:
"Barnacle. Stick to rocks and large whales. Become the owner of the proportionally largest reproductive organ in the animal kingdom. Eight years of self-fertilisation." That sounds good, can I be one of them?

GOD:
Don't be perverted.