GOD:
Next, please.
MAN:
Yes, hello again.
GOD:
I'm sorry, my memory fails me. Which one are you?
MAN:
Well, I was Martin Fry.
GOD:
I'm sorry, those records are terminated. What's your number?
MAN:
Eleven thirty-one.
GOD:
No, no, not your queue number. Your executive number, the eight-digits.
MAN:
You expect me to remember that?
GOD:
Well, it is within the seven plus-minus two limit, which you should achieve if you've reached up to level one. Or, are you the reincarnation?
MAN:
Yeah, that's right. That's what I wanted to discuss with you.
GOD:
Did you miss your stop?
MAN:
No.
GOD:
I only sent you off a few hours ago.
MAN:
Yes, my point exactly. What's the deal with turning me into a sea turtle?
GOD:
You said you liked swimming, and that you'd like a long life.
MAN:
Yeah, but their life expectancy from hatching is only about four seconds, innit? I was eaten by a gull after two. You do realise that the odds of me becoming an old sea turtle are about one in a million?
GOD:
What can I do, try again.
MAN:
I've been at it thirteen times already; it's beginning to resemble a very frustrating video game!
GOD:
What can I do?
MAN:
You're God..! What can't you do? You invented gulls, didn't you?
GOD:
Actually, that was my day off.
MAN:
I don't believe this...
GOD:
Would you like to be something else? How about sloth?
MAN:
No thank you.
GOD:
They're swimmers. I didn't mean for that to happen, but there you are.
MAN:
Tempting, but no thanks.
GOD:
African elephant?
MAN:
No.
GOD:
I can offer you, um, tiger?
MAN:
No! How come you keep giving me endangered animals?
GOD:
To teach you a lesson!
MAN:
About what?
GOD:
About life, and death, and how cruel they both can be because of people like the former you, who take as their profession to cause others to suffer!
MAN:
I was an insurance salesman..! Anyway, why don't you offer me panda?
GOD:
I don't like pandas.
MAN:
How can you not like pandas? Pandas are the fluffy bits of hope in this world!
GOD:
Why do you think they're dying out?
MAN:
But you just said--
GOD:
Enough about the bloody pandas already! I'm on a boycott, orright? Simple as that. You can't be a panda, pick something else.
MAN:
Well I don't know.
GOD:
Would you like to see the catalogue?
MAN:
The catalogue of endangered animals that you like?
GOD:
Yeah. Here, have a look.
MAN:
"Life through a straw: Anteater. Short sight, bushy tail and a pair of claws. Live your South American dream." No, that's not really for me... "Sturgeon", "Chiru", "Rhinoceros"... It's not really alphabetical, this, is it?
GOD:
It's in order of preference.
MAN:
"Barnacle. Stick to rocks and large whales. Become the owner of the proportionally largest reproductive organ in the animal kingdom. Eight years of self-fertilisation." That sounds good, can I be one of them?
GOD:
Don't be perverted.















Comments
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Please check out my gallery! ~MionePax
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"Excuse me, but your teeth are in my neck."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Photography. Vampire Fiction. Art. General Prettiness.
My gallery would appreciate a visit: [link]
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I absolutely love the humor.
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There are two kinds of thieves in this world:
the ones who steal to enrich their lives,
and those that steal to define their lives.
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I've got an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one...
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rak en rol!
--
"Excuse me, but your teeth are in my neck."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Photography. Vampire Fiction. Art. General Prettiness.
My gallery would appreciate a visit: [link]
--
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